When I think of “speaking from the heart,” love languages is an associated tangent. Gary Chapman wrote a book in 1995 called The Five Love Languages, where he describes the ways that individuals express and experience love.
1) gifts
material objects, things, tokens of love and affection
2) quality time
the amount of time that you are with a loved person, sharing activities, whether it’s outside excursions, or being lazy around the house together
3) words of affirmation
saying things such as “you are the best” “I adore you” “You are gorgeous” or other phrases to affirm their feelings
4) acts of service
helping your friend move, cleaning around the house, assembling Ikea furniture (!), taking care of errands, coming over when you need someone to vent to
5) physical touch
hugs, kisses, holding hands, massage, and other acts of affection
Chapman recommends that people not use the love languages that they connect with the most, but rather the love languages that their loved ones most connect with. If you are giving your partner gifts when she really needs quality time, she might not really “get” that you truly love her because you are not speaking her language. As another example, if you partner really needs physical touch but you only provide words of affirmation, your partner might be skeptical about the truth of the message. Therefore, Chapman recommends that you be adaptive and even though one language may be YOUR primary language, try to understand what primary language your PARTNER prefers, and try to communicate via those methods.
MAY