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Wow. All I can is…wow.

I had such an incredible time. The combination of everything..it was magical. Big Sur is so incredibly  beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then on top of that, Esalen is such healing land, with so much healing that has gone on there, that that is the nature of the land. They had clothing-optional hot spring hot tubs on the cliffside, overlooking the ocean, that were amazzzzing. I went 2-3 times every day for its healing.The food was grown from the organic farm on property. I saw so many whales in the ocean! And twice I saw a ringtail cat!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND there was a meteor shower. I’m not kidding. How much awesomeness can you cram in? Plus I got to live in an ART STUDIO on the property, how cool is that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THIS was my bathroom! Amazing, right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was beauty everywhere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were amazing activities every night, such as a kirtronica dance party, a SING-ALONG that was fucking awesome, a hilarious and touching one-woman play, meditation, etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANNNDDD there was the actual week-long WORKSHOP that I took, which was kundalini yoga with Kia Miller. I didn’t know what kundalini was, who Kia Miller was, WHAT i was getting into, or even HOW I was gonna make it through six hours of yoga a day, when I don’t even do or like yoga?!

But it was fantastic. Kia taught with a gentle, humble, compassionate nature- so full of grace….She was so positive and eloquent. I was able to modify poses as needed. Kundalini, I found out, actually deals with a lot of breathwork, visualization, and chanting. I LOVED the visualization and chanting.

The first two days, Sunday and Monday, I was struggling. The familiar voices in my head were screaming when I was doing the yoga. She would say “feel the energy” and I would negatively echo in my head “feel the pain…” When we would do our practice, I would think “Why am I doing this? My back hurts…my knees hurt…my everything hurts….ugghhhh I hate this”…

Tuesday was the turning point. In the second yoga session of the day, Kia had us do a really interesting pose where we were in a lunge position, with our arms as if we are shooting an arrow. She instructed us to look out over our first thumb as if we were focused intently on our target and to have unwavering focus so that we may manifest our goals. That absolutely clicked for me. I felt so incentivized to HOLD the position and to focus with unwavering focus, so that I may achieve my goals. And then there were several other poses after that, that I felt just invigorated me, because she had explained WHY we were doing the poses, then I started to WANT to do them.

During the third yoga class of the day on Tuesday, we were singing to this chant called “Humee hum Brahm hum.” We had amazing live musicians (Lakschmi and Ananda) play their instruments and sing like angels for our classes everyday. It was really powerful. Anyway, Tuesday last session they played this song where we repeated the mantra humee hum brahm hum for 11 min. Here is what it means:

“For the meditation we use a classical mantra “Humee Hum Brahm Hum.” There are many mantras that work on the heart center. The sound “Hum” itself and the sound “Hu” are used in various wisdom traditions. The “Humee Hum” is the sense of Self we get in our connection with other people, things, and thoughts about our Self. It means “We are we.” It affirms our interconnection with all we are part of. “Brahm Hum” is the subtle aspects of our Self. It is the formless creative witness in us. It is the part of our existence as a Self that is beyond rational capture and is the ineffable reality of our Being. Combined, the sounds are like a heartbeat. The energetic form and flow of these sounds work on the heart center, navel center, and throat and brow centers together. The mantra brings the experience of the Self to a point where it’s fully present in your body and mind.” (quote found here)

So, we had to sit with a partner and hold our hands in a certain way such that our middle fingers were touching. We had to look deeply into each others eyes and sing this mantra. It was an interesting experience, as I am not used to looking straight into someone’s eyes for longer than a few seconds. It was a deep connection. And singing the song was so beautiful and touching. There was just something so emotional about it all. I started to smile. Then all of a sudden I started to cry. I broke eye contact as I sobbed and tried to pull myself together. Eventually I was able to, and his eyes were right there waiting for me, so empathetic and so kind. I was eventually able to regain my voice and sing again while maintaining eye contact and fingers touching.

I was kind of shocked by this experience. I had heard that kundalini often times causes crying, because kundalini is a powerful way to move energy and heal. But it was crazy for me to be in class and then to all of a sudden feel so raw and be bawling. I do acknowledge that there is some grief within me, and that is what probably was moving through me, but wow.

After that, Wednesday Thursday, Friday, yoga continued to be on the up and up. There were still moments where I was mentally/physically struggling, but overall I had a great time enjoying what I could in my brief stay there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And now I am back.

But I will always look back with fondness at my amazing stay there, and highly recommend anyone to go to Esalen who wants to have weirdo hippie dance parties, soak in amazing healing hot tubs, and participate in any of the various enlightening workshops that are hosted there every year.

 

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